Perthro; The Well of Secrets

I stepped through the Door and into the Otherworld and looked at my feet. I was barefoot and standing on flat stones, wet and smooth and shining like polished silver. It was night, I wore a deep purple gown and the rain fell softly on my bare arms.  The tall dark trees around me sparkled with silver lights as though an entire tribe lived among the treetops.

The path led in a spiral and I followed it down to a deep well surrounded by the same flat stones.  The water was clear but dark, like a scrying pool.  A woman with dark hair and dark eyes and pale skin, wearing a dark gown sat beside the pool.  She spoke to me with her mind and showed me all of the secrets of our family, generations of us, our Wyrd and our fate. 

She said that this was the Well of Secrets, of memory and fate and the Wyrd of us, of our family.  All was water and light among shadow and I gave a gift, a silver strand of light from my womb.  I cast it into the well as an offering to our family fate, to the family secrets.  A sacrifice to further us along, a promise to teach my children love.

I vowed that I would teach my children not to be afraid, that with me, in my heart and in my love they are safe from abandonment, from ever having to sacrifice themselves or their own truth. 

I know this vow is true and right and I know that it begins with me.  I returned with a renewed sense of peace and purpose.  

Naudhiz; Connection

I step through the Door and into the Otherworld.  I look down at my feet, I am barefoot and the ground beneath my feet is covered in dead leaves.  My legs and arms are bare and my body is covered by a rough leather hide and a knife is tied at my waist.  All is quiet and as I look around me I see that I am in a wood in late autumn at dusk.  In one hand I carry a wooden bow and in the other a handmade arrow. 

There is a broad path before me and I follow it through the wood.  I walk quietly, slowly but with an easy stride.  I feel the leaves beneath my bare feet, they are soft and I am surprised at how comfortable and at ease I am in this place.  As I walk, I begin to feel a strong hunger in my belly and slowly a sense of urgency creeps into my body.  I begin to feel a strong need to complete some crucial task and return to my home before it is too late.  There are those I love in need and I must provide for them or they will suffer.  My heart is pounding so loudly in my ears that I can hear nothing else.

The feeling of constraint, of real need, becomes so strong that it is almost overwhelming.  Then I see her, standing in the middle of the path a dozen yards in front of me.  I stop and stare at her and she looks at me.  Our eyes meet and I am overcome by her beauty as I raise my bow, nock my arrow upon the bowstring, pull back and aim at her heart.

The moment I release my arrow, my heart almost explodes, and when it pierces her heart, I feel the sharp point penetrate my own.  My body convulses with the shock as I make my way to her as she falls.  When I reach her, I kneel at her head and with my knife I slit her throat.  I can feel the life and spirit leave her; I can feel our blood drain into the earth as I hold her as she gives up her life to feed my own. 

My bare legs and feet are covered in her blood as I kneel beside her beautiful body and I place my hands in the blood pooled upon the earth around me and bathe my arms and face with it.  I understand the cost, the sacrifice and the true connection between the hunter and the one who is hunted to feed the tribe.  It should be painful to take a life; it should sacrifice a part of the hunter to fill the need.

Tiwaz; Dance of the Wolf Shaman

Painting by Susan Seddon Boulet

I step through the Door and into the Otherworld.  I look down at my feet. I am barefoot and the ground beneath my feet is covered in snow.  I am wearing animal pelts, furs secured with strips of rough leather.  They are soft and warm and despite the snow upon the ground, I do not feel the cold. 

I look around me and discover that I am in an old-growth forest of conifers.  The sky overhead is black, but filled with bright stars.  As my eyes adjust to the darkness, the path before me is just visible enough to follow, the starlight reflecting off the snow that covers the ground.

I step forward and begin to follow the path through the forest.  It is dark and quiet and as I walk along I begin to feel as though I am being watched, not followed so much as accompanied by an unseen companion.  It is then that I notice the light ahead.  I continue on, eager to discover the source of the light.

I come to a clearing in the trees and find a large fire blazing at its center.  I pause for a moment at the place where the path meets the clearing and watch.  The fire is very large and burning bright and high, sparks rising from the top high into the night sky.  Then from the other side of the clearing, he appears dancing around the fire.  He is large and has long hair and a long beard and he is naked but for the pelt of a wolf.  He is dancing ecstatically around the fire, spinning and leaping and moving more like a wolf than a man. 

Then I notice the wolf pelt laid out upon a large rock next to me.  Instinct tells me that I am to put it on and dance with the shaman.  I do and find that my awkwardness fades and I move as if the wolf is dancing through me. As I dance, I can feel a sense of sacrifice. 

I feel the sacrifice that the shaman makes, going into the dark, cold night and dancing alone.  Sacrificing the comfort of community for the sake of his community.  Leaving the comforts of his warm, safe home and the pleasures of his bed and his lover, the joys of tucking his children in, to dance this night with the wolf in the forest.

I leave the pelt I have been given upon the rock on which I found it and return the way I came.

My Pwca always lays with me when I travel and this journey was no different until just before I opened the door.  He suddenly attacked my hand with teeth and claws and then removed himself to a chair instead.  As soon as I returned and closed the door behind me he returned to my side, as loving as always, and purred until he fell asleep.  The message I took from that is that he doesn’t like Wolves.  He will travel with me but not if I am going to visit the Wolf.